surat buat sahabat: Bicara tentang hati
LAMA....
itu ungkapan yg paling sesuai utk aku katakan pd diri ini yg hampir seminggu meninggalkan kampus krn menyertai satu program yg dianjurkan oleh kolej kediaman aku..
And yes, seminngu juga aku tinggal kan jemaah, surau, adik2 usrah. tak dinafikan aku masih solat berjemaah semasa disana tp the feeling is totally different. and the worst is around 7 days there I only managed to read the Quran only 1 day. Ni belum kira hanyut dlm kegembiraan.
Sekarang bila dah pulang aku jd blur. Aku macam lost. Knows nothing. Mcm hilang ingatan gitu. Sumpah, aku takut. Aku jd tak tenang. Aku rasa setiap langkah aku tak kena. Something's wrong here and there. I really need help. But nobody even ask. Aku sedih tambah pelik. Nak2 lagi kawan rapat( my classmate) aku dah makin jauh dari aku. Sumpah, aku stress! But still none ever asking.
Tapi dgn keadaan aku yg tak berapa betul aku gagahkan juga kaki ke surau malam kesokannya. I'm happy to see my friends and adik2 yg masih mahu memeriahkan surau. But still no one ever asked me about me. Maybe i'm not a very important person. But then selepas solat isyak seorang kawan dtg and greet me and asked if i'm not okay. Yeah, she's right. I'm not okay. More to K.O. She said that she saw me like i'm dying from exhausted. I replied her honestly about my feeling. She hugged and rubbed my back. At that time i wanna cried. Really. Half of my stress gone just like that, the other half of stress for sure come from study! Then as i walked to the exit she showed me the thumb up sign which i interpreted that she always be by my side. I said to her that i will find my "file" back which hidden somewhere around my body. She nodded and i went to my room updating my blog<sigh!>
Enough about my story the things i want to highlight to the readers are:
1. whereever you go never ever leave your dakwah. Dakwah is a continuous work. Don't take for granted.
2. make sure that when you join the program/ activities that more towards the 'just entertainment' you already set up your boundaries.
3. Don't leave Quran for even one day.
This post is totally my true story. I already felt on how Allah want to test my IMAN. Truthfully i failed the test. Nope C- but F. I accept it and faced my mistakes. I want to get through it and never do that again ( or should i say that i do not dare to join any other programs else from dakwah work). Pls pray for me. I'm not strong, more or less a fragile and weak person. I'm on my trial time which i do not know the due date yet.
Lastly let's us raise up our hand and ask the protection from Our Lord and Almighty Allah Subhanallah Taala
-penulis khayalan-
itu ungkapan yg paling sesuai utk aku katakan pd diri ini yg hampir seminggu meninggalkan kampus krn menyertai satu program yg dianjurkan oleh kolej kediaman aku..
And yes, seminngu juga aku tinggal kan jemaah, surau, adik2 usrah. tak dinafikan aku masih solat berjemaah semasa disana tp the feeling is totally different. and the worst is around 7 days there I only managed to read the Quran only 1 day. Ni belum kira hanyut dlm kegembiraan.
Sekarang bila dah pulang aku jd blur. Aku macam lost. Knows nothing. Mcm hilang ingatan gitu. Sumpah, aku takut. Aku jd tak tenang. Aku rasa setiap langkah aku tak kena. Something's wrong here and there. I really need help. But nobody even ask. Aku sedih tambah pelik. Nak2 lagi kawan rapat( my classmate) aku dah makin jauh dari aku. Sumpah, aku stress! But still none ever asking.
Tapi dgn keadaan aku yg tak berapa betul aku gagahkan juga kaki ke surau malam kesokannya. I'm happy to see my friends and adik2 yg masih mahu memeriahkan surau. But still no one ever asked me about me. Maybe i'm not a very important person. But then selepas solat isyak seorang kawan dtg and greet me and asked if i'm not okay. Yeah, she's right. I'm not okay. More to K.O. She said that she saw me like i'm dying from exhausted. I replied her honestly about my feeling. She hugged and rubbed my back. At that time i wanna cried. Really. Half of my stress gone just like that, the other half of stress for sure come from study! Then as i walked to the exit she showed me the thumb up sign which i interpreted that she always be by my side. I said to her that i will find my "file" back which hidden somewhere around my body. She nodded and i went to my room updating my blog<sigh!>
Enough about my story the things i want to highlight to the readers are:
1. whereever you go never ever leave your dakwah. Dakwah is a continuous work. Don't take for granted.
2. make sure that when you join the program/ activities that more towards the 'just entertainment' you already set up your boundaries.
3. Don't leave Quran for even one day.
This post is totally my true story. I already felt on how Allah want to test my IMAN. Truthfully i failed the test. Nope C- but F. I accept it and faced my mistakes. I want to get through it and never do that again ( or should i say that i do not dare to join any other programs else from dakwah work). Pls pray for me. I'm not strong, more or less a fragile and weak person. I'm on my trial time which i do not know the due date yet.
Lastly let's us raise up our hand and ask the protection from Our Lord and Almighty Allah Subhanallah Taala
"Rabbana la tuzik qulubana ba'dais hadaitana wahablana min ladun karahmatan innaka antal wahhab"
-penulis khayalan-
Comments
but now i realize how selfish i am saying there's no one even care for me since u r still exist in this tiny world..
n plus my other friends also have their own problems right now.... n i also didn't even ask if they r okay or not..
silly me!
nobody doesnt care bout you, sometimes people forgot the responsibility on them; taking care bout their friends...
i'm sorry for not being your best friends ever...
hope ull not forget me in the hereafter...
i even dunno what i feel now...
the MAIN POINT is a the one who r not a good friend...
do apologize me for my behavior n my writing..